Answers
by sapphire-child
Summary: Claire wants some answers and there’s only one person she knows she can get them from. A possible development of Claire’s story in season two written long before Maternity Leave. A short trilogy.
1. Answers 01

Title: Answers 1/3  
Summary: Claire wants some answers and there's only one person she knows she can get them from. A possible development of Claire's story in season two.  
Spoilers: Written post season one, pre season two  
Original post date: 1st September 2005  
Disclaimer: Yeah I own Lost…sure I do shifty eyes

* * *

It wasn't too hard for her to find an opportunity to slip away quietly on one of the endlessly drizzly afternoons. She had nursed Aaron and then left him with Charlie, trusting that he would take care of him until she returned.

And then she left, the only evidence to her flight being the short note she left behind where she knew Charlie would find it.

_Charlie,  
__Please look after Aaron for me. I'll be back soon. Love Claire._

She had paused then, wondering if she should say more and added a hasty postscript.

_Please don't follow me, this is something I have to do alone. And you don't have to worry about Rousseau or the "others". I'm taking one of the guns with me._

That too had been relatively easy to procure. Claire was quite a good actress when occasion called for it and when she had gone to Sayid telling him she had injured a rabbit just a little way from the caves he hadn't hesitated in giving her a gun to go and put the poor thing out of its misery.

'Are you sure you wouldn't like me to do it?' he had asked seriously as he showed her how to cock and uncock it safely.

'No,' Claire shook her head, as she took the gun gingerly. 'It was my fault. I'll do it.'

Sayid gazed softly at her and she squirmed guiltily

'Besides,' she added and gestured unnecessarily at him. 'You're busy. I can do it.'

'If you can't…'

'I can do it,' Claire said firmly and then smiled faintly, reminiscently. 'I had an uncle who owned a farm. I went rabbiting with him once or twice as a kid.'

She held her breath, waiting for him to realise she was lying but he shad simply nodded and let her go, the gun heavy in her hand.

It felt heavier now; the further she walked from the caves.

She knew what she was doing was foolish, traipsing out into the jungle alone. After everything that had happened to her in there, Claire realised that the jungle should scare her to death. But it didn't.

It began to rain as she walked. She glanced around furtively, feeling a strong sense of déjà vu. It felt uncannily like the day Charlie had killed Ethan and it made her feel uneasy. She still remembered all too well the irrational swell of terror that had engulfed her when she had met Ethan's eyes. And then she had screamed, and ran.

She sensed rather than heard Jack tackle Ethan and she remembered turning and watching as Jack pounded at him over and over with his hands as she stood there, paralysed with fear. Kate had come to her and held her, but her voice had sounded only like a numb, mindless hum. It hadn't meant anything. And as Kate whispered nothing to her, Claire remembered wishing that it were Charlie and not Kate holding her. Because even though he had lied to her, even though she was a little afraid of him, Claire wanted more than anything to trust him.

She pulled away from Kate, wanting only for this ordeal to be over, and stood there watching silently as Ethan valiantly struggled to his knees. He glanced at her and she felt a chill race up and down her spine and then suddenly, he keeled over backwards.

It wasn't until he hit the ground that Claire's brain even registered that he'd been shot. And it wasn't until Charlie lowered his gun and turned to look at her that she realised that he was the one who had shot him.

Charlie had glanced at her only once more before leaving. She had looked away, unwilling to meet his eyes and he had gruffly passed his gun to Jack before walking silently away, his shoulders stiff and unyielding to Kate's calls.

'Just let him go Kate,' Jack had finally said irritably and then turned and tentatively put a hand on Claire's quivering shoulder. 'Come on Claire. Let's get you back. Are you okay?'

Claire looked down at the gun she now held in her hands and realised that it was quite possibly the same gun that Charlie had used to kill Ethan.

Ethan. All she remembered of him was the sound of him chasing after her like some mad animal, his intense gaze, and the sight of his body being carried away. Sawyer and Sayid had carried him, Locke leading them back to the caves. Kate had looked anxiously at her.

And Charlie had disappeared slowly amongst the trees.

'No Jack.' She whispered and cocked the gun. 'I'm not okay.'


	2. Answers 02

Title: Answers 2/3  
Summary: The Island is making finding the answers harder than Claire thought, but when she does find the one person who can answer her questions will she have the courage to ask? A possible development of Claire's story in season two  
Spoilers: Post season one, pre season two  
Original post date: 4th September 2005  
Disclaimer: Lost, the characters within it and the situations they are in don't belong to me. Bad Robot, ABC, Disney, JJ Abrams and a bunch of other people own all the copyright to it. I promise I'm not writing this fanfiction to make any money and I don't mean to infringe on copyright – the plot bunnies simply attack and I relent.

* * *

The rain continued to fall as Claire walked. And walked. And walked. The gun felt heavier and colder in her hand with every passing hour, her shoes were so filled with water that her feet had gone numb with the cold and her clothes were completely saturated. And to top it all off, she had no idea where she was going.

She found the path to the beach and began to follow it, pausing every so often to listen and to look about her. The thunder overhead grew to rival the equally ominous rumbling in her stomach but she continued on as the light began to fade slowly from the world.

She wondered absently if Charlie had found her note yet. She hoped he wouldn't come looking for her but knew that he would come charging into the jungle after her eventually. He was stupidly chivalrous like that; Claire had certainly seen plenty of evidence of that since her return from the jungle.

'I should head back before I get lost.'

_You might not get another chance._

As she paused for another breather the rain fell into a lull and Claire tilted her face up towards the darkening sky, smiling at the sight of a small bird chirping irritably and fluffing his feathers, apparently not at all pleased by the weather.

'What about Aaron?'

_Charlie will take care of him._

Claire sighed and continued on, her feet tingling with a mixed sensation of numbness and pins and needles. The jungle got gradually thicker and darker; Claire pushed her way through a tangle of trees, grunting with the effort only to find herself faced with a monstrous fallen tree.

'You've got to be _kidding_ me...'

She glanced down at the gun in her hand, awkwardly uncocked it and put the safety on before sticking it through the waistband of her pants. She hauled herself over the tree easily and continued on but with less confidence the further she went. She had never been this far into the jungle before, least of all when it was raining and it was becoming increasingly difficult to navigate.

'Where are you going Claire?'

_I don't know…_

'You're completely lost.'

_I'm not lost! I'll be able to find my way back…_

'What if I can't find my way back?'

'Find your way back where?'

Claire whirled around and raised the gun. Standing not five metres away was Danielle Rousseau, looking dishevelled and just as soaked as Claire was.

'Where'd you come from?' she snapped, readjusting her hold on the gun. Danielle stared at her and Claire lost her temper. 'Answer me you French whore!'

'I came from my…shelter…' Rousseau said helplessly. She held her hands out pleadingly and took a tentative step towards Claire. 'Please…please…'

'I don't want to shoot you,' Claire said, trying to keep her voice level. She had only just noticed the absence of Rousseau's rifle. 'I want to talk to you.'

'Talk…to me?' Rousseau faltered and took to staring. 'About what?'

'About…' Claire frowned. What did she want to talk to her about?

Rousseau's eyes flickered slightly and she glanced over her shoulder and then back to Claire. 'My shelter is near,' she said tentatively. 'If you would like to get out of the rain for a little while...?'

'I…' Claire lowered the gun slightly but then redoubled her hold. Rousseau put her hands up in alarm. 'No. It could be another trap. I don't trust you. No. We're staying right here.'

'I understand why you would not trust me,' Rousseau said wryly then paused. 'We shall talk out here in the rain?'

'We'll talk out here in the rain.' Claire confirmed. 'And if you do anything I don't like…' she cocked the gun in warning.

Rousseau swallowed and lowered her hands slightly.

'What is it that you wish to talk to me about?'


	3. Answers 03

Title: Answers 3/3  
Summary: She's found the answers she wanted…or has she? And what is Charlie going to say when she finally returns to him? A possible development of Claire's story in season two  
Spoilers: Post season one, pre season two  
Original post date: 5th September 2005  
Disclaimer: Still don't own Lost. Sigh.

* * *

Claire moved swiftly through the jungle, the safety catch back in place on the gun and her shoes slipping over the wet ground.

'Never wear Chuck Taylor's when it's been raining,' Claire grumbled to herself as she dodged a tree branch and pushed another aside. 'I must remember that.'

She took a step forward, stumbled on the toe of her shoe and quite suddenly she was blinded. She drew her breath in sharply as she felt the sensation of being pulled along. Someone was breathing foully in her ear. She tried to raise the hand with the gun in it but found she couldn't move either of her hands. It almost felt like someone had tied her wrists together…

'Whoa,'

Reality returned with a jolt and Claire took a moment to gather her wits. She glanced around sharply, seeing nothing but trees and took a tentative step forwards. Nothing happened and so she continued.

She was over halfway to the caves now; she could see the bit of path up ahead where there was a low flat rock she had rested at on her way to and from the caves when she had been pregnant. She didn't stop there now however, she pressed on, almost running now, although she didn't quite know why she was so desperate to get back.

Maybe it was what she had just learned from Rousseau, maybe she was being paranoid or maybe her instinct had just kicked in, hard. Maybe it was all three. She began to run just as the whispers began.

_I think about you…Claire…I think about you…I won't leave you…I like you…I love you…Claire…I promise…I promise…without anyone…in this place…I won't leave you…Claire…Claire…your baby is special Claire…I think about you…_

Claire cried as she ran, tripping over roots, slamming into trees, trying to ignore the whispers as a stitch began to slice into her side. And then quite suddenly she was in darkness again but this time she knew where she was.

'Claire?'

She heard Sun's voice, saw her standing there but didn't stop to acknowledge her. She heard other people call her name but ignored them as well. Gasping for air she stumbled further into the caves.

'Charlie!'

She became increasingly hysterical as she searched, her voice softening from a piercing yell to a terrified whisper of 'Charlie…Charlie…' and she found herself praying frantically that he hadn't gone out to find her.

'Claire?'

'Charlie?' but it wasn't Charlie, Sun had been following her frenzied progress about the caves and now she stepped forward and held Claire's arm firmly as she spoke.

'He's over there,' Claire turned and ran.

And sure enough he was, silent and brooding, leaning over Aaron's crib like a dark guardian angel, one hand gently stroking the rail. He heard her footfalls just before she ploughed into the side of him. 'Claire!' He gave a small noise of relief as he pulled her towards him, crushing her in his arms for a brief moment before pushing her out to arms length.

'Where've you been eh?' his voice was as angry as the grip he had on her shoulders, so tight Claire was worried he might bruise her. 'Do you know how worried I've been? I got your note and then I went to tell Sayid and he told me he'd actually _given_ you a bloody gun and…'

'I didn't shoot anyone,' Claire said somewhat defensively and Charlie paused mid sentence. 'I just had to…to sort some things out. That's all.'

'Sort some things out?' Charlie repeated incredulously. 'In the jungle? In the middle of a bloody monsoon?'

Put that way it did sound foolish. And Claire felt like a fool admitting to it. 'Yes,'

Charlie looked like he was about to reprimand her but sighed at the look on her face and folded her back into his arms; aggrieved at the way his eyes were stinging. 'What if you hadn't come back Claire?' he murmured. 'What would we have done? What would Aaron have done?' Claire's eyes strayed against her will to the small bundle asleep in the crib.

She held Charlie even tighter.

'Claire?' Charlie repeated her name over and over, exasperated. 'I need some answers from you…' Charlie tried to pull away but Claire's grip was too tight. He gave up and, sighing, continued to hold her to him, leaning his forehead down until it touched her shoulder. 'Please, Claire?' his voice was muffled in her hair. 'What happened? Where did you go?'

Claire pressed her face as hard as she could into the worn material of his shirt and tried to speak, but she didn't possess the words or the want to articulate what it was she wanted to say to him. What she needed to say to him.

What she remembered about him.

And so she held him.


End file.
